This hurts to say, but my grandpa is really sick. He's been sick since december and in + out of the hospital and home. Its been a rough few months for my family. He's currently on life support. My mom and her brother have decided to let him go and no longer see him suffer. I'm not sure when exactly thats going to happen, but I think it'll be this weekend.

I think I'll really miss how whenever mi abuelo [grandpa] spoke or told a story he would always end it with "tu saves?" And when we would go to dinner he would order his coffee with grand detail. Its so shocking. He has always been such a healthy man. He always went to the doctor. He was always so active. Then, out of nowhere all this can happen.

I really dont like to talk about it. My sister and my mom force me to. They think I'm strange because I dont talk about it, I dont like to talk about, I dont like to tell my friends about it, etc. They dont really understand where I'm coming from. I'm one of those people that would rather cry in private then in front of people if I can. I'd rather keep things inside because it hurts to let them out. Maybe I am strange.

My sister constantly asks me if I've told any of my friends. I've only really told Jes, a little bit to Cody and Tif. I dont want attention for something negative. I dont like questions. I dont like being asked if Im okay all the time.

I've never lost anyone close to me at an age where I could recognize it so this is really hard. And it hurts, a lot. I'm not really sure how Im supposed to handle it.

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Hah. I haven't been on my Tang in ages.
Phew.

School is going well for the most part. I went up 14 places in my class rank! Im now 45 out of 542 students. I'm in the top 8%... I think. It's pretty exciting. I'm really enjoying AP Psych. Lately, Chemistry's been a bitch. All of my other classes are pretty chill.

I'm pretty happy with all my friends. I can't complain.

Im so boring these days with everything so nice and simple.

:] LOL

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I'm so very mad right now. I have this friend named Momo, who has a really hard time opening up. I've been trying to get him to open up to me for so long. I almost got him to just now, then he had to go cos his sister needed the computer. I can't believe this. I was so close to be let in, now I don't know when that door will be open again. What I don't get is why he can't express more emotion then just "haha, lol, okay." He's such an amazing person, except for opening up. Such bullshit.

Anyhoo, tomorrow should be great, I'm seeing Mike (I mentioned him as Michael in my last entry, but it got too confusing, so now he is Mike). You'll be told about that.

That cute Cuban kid on my bus sits on his phone the whole time. It got really gay. My bus is so crowded that I hate it now. The little middle schoolers think that they're cute. Whatever.

I'll update more later.

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Saturday night was the craziest night ever.
Let me go back, though. I went over to Jes' house where we were going to meet up with Chris + Michael from school. As we all met up at Checker's and I say Istvan, also from school, crossing the street. We were all like "OMGITSISTVAN!!!" He chilled with us for a little while and said he'd meet us back at the park where he'd bring some of his friends.

At the park we met Istvan's friends, another Michael + Winston. I'm not going to bore you with details from the park because not any of it was important. Oh, other than racing Michael + Winston down a street. Michael beat me by like so little. haa...

We went back to Jes' house where we all cooled off and the boys ate everything in site. Jes + Michael were in the guest room while, Istvan, Winston, Michael, and I were in Jes' room dancing around to music being crazy. We, meaning Winston, Michael, and I, would bust into the guest room every now and then to ruin the moment. It was so funny. Michael and I got all into doing like James Bond shit. So grand.

After a bit we had to go to Michael's, not from school, house so that his grandma would calm down. I don't really remember what we did there. Anyhow, we got his grandma to let him go back to Jes' house. By this time it was just Jes, Michael, Michael, and I. We purposefully walked down the creepy alley ways just to get a kick out of it. I was clawing on to Michael's, not from school, arm.

So when we got to Jes' we decided to turn the strobe lights on and dance. We all got really dizzy. It was crazy. So, I think we took a break and someone said "Wouldn't this be even sicker if we were all drunk?"

So, we did get drunk. I have never been that drunk, and it wasn't even that much alcohol. It was some strong ass shit. We went back to dancing and my head was spinning. Eventually, Michael, from school, and Jes just fell to the bed doing there own thing. After some time, I fell to the floor from being so dizzy and the other Michael fell with me. We were talking about stuff that I don't remember. We hooked up. But it was cute, cos we didn't just attack each other's faces. We sort of gradually inched closer to each other as we were talking until there wasn't any more room to. We did that for like a really longgg time.

So, we exchanged numbers and he called me yesterday like 4 times throughout the day. He is so effing cute. During one phone call:

Him: So, do you remember last night?
Me: Hahaaa Yeahhhh.
Him: Did you like it?
Me: Yeahhhh.
Him: Do you like me?
Me: ...Well it takes a bit more for me to like someone that just a little attention... Which should really make you feel good cos I wont like you for something silly.
Him: Mmm.
Me: Why, do you like me?
Him: Yeah.
Me: -giggles-

That was amazing. Like, how he didn't try to dance around that with me. He let me know straight up. Mad points for this kid.


Lil Update: Thursday bus ride was mucho lame-o. That kid was on the phone, so I didn't get to talk to him. Eh.


:D

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